It's been hard for me these days, and it still is. I might appear well and fine but I'm not. Only God knows how I am and have been. Talking things out helps out a lot but still why are we like this?

All I can ever do is just wonder and think deeply where and what are the 'errors' that happened the past 6 years. It wasn't a simple story how we ended up falling in love with each other. I can surely say there were lots of sweet memories I hold with you which I will never forget. They will always be in my heart. I hope it will too for you. =)

Having things to end this way is a sure thing hard to accept. But there's nothing I can do. Asking for advices and opinions is the furthest my friends can help me with. Other than that, I'm all on my own.

It's hurting me rite now about us. In malay I would say, 'Aku da btol2 pasrah ni.' I'm in the situation whereby I dunno what else to do on my part. I tried but it only seems to make things worse. I guess I just have to do nothing, maybe that's the best choice.

Am I acting this way because I feel lost? Am I still searching for myself? Maybe...Maybe I could be...

Rite now, I'm standing on a VERY THIN line between yes or no. To give up or not? To do anything or not? I still can't make up my mind. I'm just standing there on the line, waiting for time to reveal its answer.

And to You, I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings all these years. It was never my intention to do that and I hope you understand. I know I've been such a bad companion for us to end up this way. Perhaps it's because of me that you become like this. I'm sorry.

I have my flaws and so do you. We accepted each other nevertheless. I thank you for loving me for whom I am. Thank You.

From deep in my heart, I apologise if I made u feel uncomfortable or got the worong idea of me. Since its just friends you want us to be, I will respect your decision. Maybe there's no fate for us to be together back now. I just wish you won't forget me because I won't. =)

Perhaps now, communication between is is rough. I might be acting harshly but I have my reasons. Trust me. It’s just hard for me. If I do something, it’s wrong. If I don’t, it’s also wrong. Haizz…

Rite now, I’m just soo lost. I feel like crying my heart out but tears to no avail. So how? Just cry lonely in my heart. I hope this ‘high’ tide will pass soon because I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

Lastly, something you wrote for my years ago, which I still keep in heart n memory.

From you to me:

The widest of ocean is not able hide me from my sorrows

It’s not even enough to cover my face

From the shame and the embarrassments

It’s just unbearable to hold

To lift the burden on my shoulders

You have once entered my life,

Bringing happiness and contentment to my life

I felt as if the gates of heaven open its door

Just for the both of us

Sadly it did not last,

What that seemed to be the happy ending to a fairy tale

Ended abruptly without sirens to warned

I never have blamed you for what happened

From that moment I already realized that thunderstorm

Was cause by the lightning that I brought in,

It struck your heart till it broke into pieces

I could feel the deep bleeding from my fall

I kept thinking will it heal in time?

Bleeding that was inflicted by me

It’s not as simple to just apply medication

Its need to be treated by love

I really wished that I could earn it back from you

But it seems that I am just incompetent

Things are much wrinkled between us right now

I really hope we could iron them out

Specially crafted from:

Feroz

Just[YOU&ME]